Travel tax payment. Boarding pass printing. Changing of money. All done! But there’s one more thing — you have yet to pass the Philippine immigration counters, which you’ve been so anxious about for days. Like a lot of Filipinos, all you want is to get through this stage smoothly. For the immigration officers, despite their hectic jobs, you’d want them to find it in their hearts to be nice to you. Better yet, to be extra friendly and amusing to help ease your nerves — kind of like these trending Filipino celebrities!
Also read: 15 Things You Should NEVER Do at the Airport
Document checking with Macoy Averilla
Typical officer: (browses passport silently)
Macoy: Pak! Ganda ka? Anez ang awra sa Singapore? Balita kez ang jinits doon ngayon. Wititit tayez sa mga makakapal na nyeckets at doon lang sa maninipis na outfit mars, ha! Emehhh! Pak tapos nyeven days pa pala. O ayan resibo ng travel tax mo, wiz ko na need. Shelemet!
Follow-up questions with Piolo Pascual
Typical officer: First time abroad?
Piolo: Hindi pa ho kayo nag-out of the country? Bakit mag-isa ka lang? Ano’ng trabaho niyo? Ah, eh, sino ‘yang kasunod mo?! (pause) You made me believe. Ano ho talaga ang balak niyo sa (insert destination)? I deserve a detailed explanation. I deserve an acceptable reason!
Face scanning with Vice Ganda
Typical officer: Tingin sa camera.
Vice: Andiyan sa harap camera, teh, hindi sa mukha ko. Echosera to. Ngiti lang. Sabing ngiti eh! Ayan. Pak. Ganern! Savehhh!
Fingerprint scanning with Kris Aquino
Typical officer: Pakipatong dalawang index finger.
Kris: Okay, place your index finger over the scanner. Ay wait, fingers pala, ahahaha. I think it’s hintuturo in Tagalog, tama ba ako? Yes? Okay, so careful lang, and make sure they’re not super pawisan, ha. Sige ka, hindi ‘yan mababasa ng computer ko, ma-miss mo pa flight mo. No, really. Mukhang mahal pa naman binayad mo. Nakakaloka.
Stamping with Rufa Mae Quinto
Typical officer: …
Rufa: Ayaaan natatakan ka na. Alriiight! Takbo na bago ka maiwan ng higanteng eroplano. Ito na ‘yun, friend, yessss! Go go go! Todo ka na sa destination mo!
Bonus: Pia Wurtzbach as you, the passenger
Immigration officer: Bakit ka pupunta sa (insert destination)? Ano purpose?
Pia: To be a visitor to this country is both an honour and responsibility. If I were to make it to my flight, I will use my social media pages to influence my fellow travellers and raise awareness on various tourist attractions that are budget-friendly and Instagram-worthy for my followers, who are Filipinos. I want to show the world — the universe, rather — that I am financially capable of travelling with a heart. (beauty queen wave)
For your upcoming international flight, remember to stay calm and confident. Treat the immigration officers as anyone you’d feel comfortable hanging out with at home (if not these iconic Filipino personalities), while also giving brief and honest answers. That might just make it easier!
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